Peter - Carepages - May 31st, 2007

I don't know what to say....the last couple of days have been very emotional. Peter had a great weekend, but for the last couple of days seems to be on to his next challenge. His creatinine stayed at 1.4 today, and his sodium continues to improve. I think his kidneys are healing which is something huge to be thankful for! Now Peter seems to be struggling to keep his oxygen saturation levels, and we don't know why. We were moved from the NICU to the ICC yet again yesterday. I just cried when they told me. I expressed my concern with his sat levels until I was blue in the face. His chest x-ray showed no change and as of yet I'm waiting for a doctor to at least give me a theory on why this is happening. They don't want to put him back on oxygen so they keep lowering the threshold of acceptable saturation levels. He has been dropping low way too frequently and re-positioning him or stimulating him doesn't work as well as it did days earlier. I admit this latest challenge is really getting to me emotionally. I am praying - ok, begging - for further healing of my little man. Having him turn blue in my arms over and over and over again is extremely hard. Watching him turn dusky and then seeing his mouth and nose turn blue is trying. I feel guilty leaving him for a few minutes to go eat or get a drink - fearful of what happens when I am there, but more fearful of what happens when I am not there. Fearful to leave and come back to no Peter. Every time he gets blue I experience the fear I felt in the Springs all over again. The fear of loosing my little man. I have to hold on to the faith that all will be ok and one day he will come home a healthy little boy - but my faith in this is being tested lately. Please keep praying for Peter's healing and for a miracle! Anyway, sorry to be a downer today. Hope to have better news in my next update. Love to all! catherine