Ever have one of those days where you just feel sad? Well, today is one of those days! I am sure most have you heard about the hoopla in the news about the new movie "Tropic Thunder" that opened today. There has been outrage by many organizations that support and represent people with intellectual disabilities. Letters, news bytes and protests at theatres. If you read the articles online and scroll down to the "comments" section people are heated on both sides of the fence. On one hand you have people advocating for people with disabilities, arguing that movies should not be aimed at hurting and name calling people who can't defend themselves. Personal accounts by mothers, sisters, brothers, etc that are standing up for their loved ones. On the other hand you've got people arguing that this country has become too politically correct, to grow up and accept the movie for what it is - a comedy. To trust that folks watching the movie know better than to use the derogatory comments made in it. Those that argue too much time is wasted on this argument when we should be focusing on our economy, the price of gas and the upcoming elections. I have not watched the movie, and honestly it is not chick-flick enough for me....but from what I have read it uses the name "retard" often to reference an intellectually disabled character. There are "phrases" being coined in marketing material including t-shirts that say "Full Retard", "Don't go full retard" and "Once upon a time ....there was a retard". Additionally the film referenced the intellectually impaired character as "moron", "moronical", "imbecile", and so on. So honestly I just sat here tonight getting sad.....sad that at the end of the day things are so complicated when they should be so simple. That yes, both sides of the fence have valid points to build their soap box on.....but that and the end of the day we have all become "cafeteria Americans". We pick and choose what this country stands for, and at the end of the day we have lost basic common sense. Yes, we have "freedom of speech" but we also have "liberty and justice for ALL" - and what about the "pursuit of happiness"? Today we live in a "me, me, me" world.....we often here "it's all about me!" or "what's in it for me?". And in our pursuit of our own freedom of speech, our own right to happiness, our own sense of justice we no longer think of what that means to others. I thank my parents for teaching me basic common sense as a child - I may not have used it all the time, but they tried! I remember my mother telling us over and over and over again "Never base your sense of humor on ridiculing or humiliating other people". Really what she was teaching us was RESPECT...how about that for an r-word we don't hear often any more - unless of course we are complaining that we don't get respect from others. What about respect for our fellow citizens? what about supporting them in their pursuit of happiness, justice and the American dream? What about saying "it is all about you" or "what can I do for you?". Let's face it - our individual pursuit of the American dream can be in stark conflict with someone else's pursuit. Ultimately there are told and untold boundaries. My right to bear arms doesn't mean I can go around killing people....even if it is part of my pursuit of happiness. My pursuit for wealth doesn't mean I loose sight of my civic and moral responsibility to others. My freedom of speech does not mean I go around calling people names. COMMON SENSE!! Today I thought about life....and the fact that our life consists of one choice after another. Speaking for myself I have made wise choices, lousy choices and a lot somewhere in-between. But at the end of the day, they were my choices and I will continue to try and make the right ones. John and I have often talked to our kids about choices. And today I thought about all the choices we don't have in life. I didn't choose to be born blonde, my brother didn't choose to loose his hair early (sorry Rog!), John didn't chose to be one of six kids, and neither did Peter chose to be chromosomally enhanced (i.e.. have Down syndrome). Alexandra didn't chose the freckles on her lips she says look like a mustache (please don't make fun of her!). Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we can't control...and some I can't imagine. I can't imagine what it is like for the African-American mother who's child comes home after being called the N-word at school, or the parent of an inter-racial child who struggles to explain who she is......but today, I do know what it is like to be the parent of a child that technically is a "full retard". I know what it is like to have people avoid me because Peter makes them uncomfortable. I know what it is like to walk through the store and have people try not to stare, but they do anyway - whisper under their breath or make down right stupid comments. I know what it is like to fear what world I am bringing my children into - each and every one of them. I am a mother who has had to fight the desire to strangle the living cr*p out of someone who disrespected or insulted my child in word or action. At that moment in time it was my pursuit of happiness - or so I thought - but beating up a 6 yr old boy who was teasing my 4 year old daughter was hardly applying the common sense my parents tried teaching me. Berating or belittling him technically fell in my "freedom of speech" although it could be argued it was "child abuse". Hmmmm.....another conflict. So guess what?? our rights, freedoms and choices are not just ours.....they impact everyone around us!! We are all connected by a tangled web we can not see. So the choices we have and the ones we don't still impact those around us - our actions, our words, our attitudes. So I am not sending this out to ask you to boycott a movie, or protest at a theatre - although that would be your right and I wouldn't stop you! What I am asking is that we all take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Let's lead our society by example - let's make the R word "respect" and not "retard". Let's create a next generation where my pursuit of the American dream doesn't have to conflict with your pursuit of the American dream because ultimately we use common sense, compassion and RESPECT!! catherine
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August 15th, 2008:
I'm back! And I do want to thank you for listening to me go on and on....no need to say more I hope. And for the record - my parents tried to instill common sense in me, but sometimes I lack it. John and I are trying to do it - and when all hell is breaking loose in the Krause house (as it does at times!), we think we are failing too! I didn't want anyone to feel that I was sitting on my high horse preaching from a spot of personal and parenting perfection....goodness knows we have a long way to go - but we are trying!
On to what this is really about....remember last year I waited until a couple of weeks before the Buddy Walk to register? Well this year I beat that and waited until a week before - AHH! The BUDDY WALK is next Saturday August 23rd. Below is some information about the Buddy Walk together with a link to our family home page for the walk. Please know that we understand with as tough as the economy is, that making a donation to the BUDDY WALK may not be easy - but we hope that you will join us. By just walking with us you are showing your support for Peter and all individuals with DS, bringing awareness to the community and hopefully just having a great time getting some exercise in. For families there are lots of activities - my kids made off with a loot last year from the raffles and different games. There is food, music and hopefully good weather!! Please see my BLOG above for the address to our BUDDY WALK page.
Love,
catherine
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